An Internet Crash-Course for Conservatives

The Internet.

A big scary place full of small scary people. So what's a conservative to do? There's so much hate, vitriol, and ignorance out there.
Nary a day goes by where I don't scroll down to the bottom of a news story only to be embarrassed by the so-called conservatives taking a fluff piece on some guy's dog with a strange talent and turning it into the perfect chance to call President Obama a dog-eater.

In fact, I've come up with a formula for ignorent conservative comments:

Wow, [two words that sort of relate to the actual story], but [extremely uncreative play on "Obama"] is a [Muslim/socialist/communist/Kenyen]!

Here's a tip: when you're in a firefight, don't give the other side ammunition. And stupid, baseless comments are intellectual ammunition. To assist those who can't tell the difference between stupid and not stupid, I've compiled a few rules for Internet commenting right after the jump.

Internet rule #1: Stay on topic. 

If a story is about the Michael Jackson trial, your comment should probably have something to do with Michael Jackson and exactly nothing to do with Barack Obama. If someone on the left has chosen to deviate from this, calling them out on an off-topic comment will look better than responding in kind. 

Internet rule #2: Don't look like a jerk.

Here's a little RWR stylebook. 

• President Obama
• President Barack Obama
• Barack Obama
• Barack H. Obama
• Obama

Use this list when referring to Barack Obama. If your choice isn't on this list, don't use it. Here's a list of inappropriate choices that is by no means all inclusive.

• Barry
• Obungo
• O-bomb-uh
• Obummer
• Mmm-mmm-mmm Barack Hussein Obama

These, you see, aren't actually creative or funny. They just make you look like a jerk. Looking like a jerk is the opposite of what you want to do. Indeed, sometimes it feels nice to just try to bludgeon the other side. But our side isn't the side of feeling nice, it's the side of doing the right thing. Sometimes, the right thing is patiently trying to talk to people...the ones willing to have an actual conversation, that is. And if they're not, move on.

Internet rule #3: Use Sources

Here's the most important and least adhered to rule. This doesn't just apply to online debates but also to logical conversations in general. 
YOU NEED TO BE ABLE TO CITE A SOURCE. You might not need to cite it in your original post, but you'd better be able to back up a factual statement with a source.
I'll just eliminate one "source" off the top: InfoWars is NOT a good source. And no, I'm not just picking on them because Alex Jones is crazy. In fact, Rush Limbaugh, Sean Hannity, the Daily Caller, and Red State are all examples of poor sources.
Why? Because leftists will completely ignore anything theses sources say no matter how correct they may be (and frankly, I'll completely ignore anything Alex Jones says because he's either insane or taking advantage of ignorent people).
Rather, you need solid, non-partisan sources. Historically, these have been news organizations  That does not seem to be much of an option anymore so you might need to go straight to the source. However, if you're able to cite someone like MSNBC, it'll be hard for a liberal to refute that information.


Finally,

Internet rule #4: Always be logical.

Don't become like the left and employ emotional arguments. An emotional argument, or "argumentum ad passiones" is a type of red herring argument that uses emotions to overcome logic (you need to be taxed more; it's for the children!). 
In fact, you should familiarize yourself with all types of logical fallacies. This will help you both avoid using poor logic yourself, as well as identifying it and defeating it when bad logic is used against you.  


Obviously, there are more...but these are a good start. Just use your brain, be firm but polite, and always be logical.